I miss the tappity tap sound my computer makes as I tinkle on the keys. But, I haven’t been writing. For some reason, lately, I haven’t felt up to it… I have been frozen at the keyboard. I could blame it on the fact that this year we are enduring the world’s longest winter or maybe it is due to the constant nagging ache that our economy seems to be causing in our collective guts. It could be that now that I am doing better I have been extremely busy trying to resume my old activities…
I think the real reason is is that I am burnt out on worrying about all things iron. I am tired of my doctors and my diagnostic limbo. I am tired of tests. I am tired of inconclusive lab reports. I am tired of being tired. I am tired of of explaining to people why I’m tired. (I am tired of worrying that if I don’t explain my pale face, my raccoon eyes, and my lethargy these relative strangers and friendly acquaintances and new colleagues will think I am a crystal-meth-head.) I am tired of feeling only a little bit better. I am tired of complaining.
I want my old life back. I am in mourning for my old energy levels and my old get up ‘n go. I have been trying to fake it. I am better, really I am. But at the same time I am still “off”.
You know what I am really worn out with…feeling sorry for myself when there are REAL horrors out there in this world. Good luck, God Bless…have a good night…I’ll write more very soon and I’ll write myself out of this stupid pity party and concentrate the grey matter on my main mission…iron diseases and the living of life with a blood-iron disease without regret and without reserve and with a healthy and happy outlook. Because things can always be worse. Much worse.
Be kind to everyone you meet for you never know what battles they are fighting.
