Last week was a week of milestones.
-I had my first official therapeutic phlebotomy with the Red Cross. A shout-out of thanks goes to Sheri the incredible phlebotomist who inserted that honkin’ needle and I didn’t feel a thing. Wow. It can be done!
-I had my first facial ever. Amazing. My face is now baby’s-butt smooth.
-I had enough energy to work a full 40-hour week for the first time since before Thanksgiving. (YAY…I think?…)
-And for the first time in my life I fainted…dead away into a pile of dried horse manure…
It was incoherent city. Population: me.
It was the perfect storm. I worked a bunch. I am sick of sitting, heck friggin’ sick of laying on the couch so I was pushing myself to see just how much energy I had in reserve. Not as much. Then it turns out that facials actually dehydrate you while they hydrate your skin. Isn’t that an oxymoron? Someone needs to explain this one to me. Finally, I never listen to my husband. Or so he claims. So after the prior two activities we went to the barn to muck out Phoenix the pony’s stall.
I probably should have sat down when Tom said, “Hey do you want sit down?” I guess I didn’t look so good.
But at that moment I was staring intently into the manure-filled wheelbarrow. For those of you who have fainted before I’m sure you can remember the heart-pounding, extremities-tingling, static-pin-point-vision, and not to mention the unmentionables…fighting the urge to either poop or puke.
On a side note “poop” is a palindrome*…and a fun word to say aloud too..try it now…(if you’re not sitting at your desk at the office or reading this from a laptop in a crowded airport,”poop…poop…poop”… fun, huh?!
Tom said I tipped on my heels and fell backwards just like a cartoon character. He couldn’t get to me on time because of the aforementioned wheel barrow was blocking the way.
It was rather astonishing to “awaken” lying flat on my back in the middle of a stall, head pounding (even though it was being cushioned so to speak by a couple-day old pile of dried horse turds), and staring up at the barn ceiling.
Yeahhhhhh…now how many people you know have taken a header into a pile of that?
Who knows maybe I found a recipe for the next hottest thing in hair conditioners? You should know that in the Middle Ages, Europeans used to use dried pigeon feces in “medicines” for everything from stomach cramps to the plague. So listen up Johnson & Johnson and Proctor & Gamble I am claiming the idea here first,publically on WordPress, manure shampoo…my idea!
*palindrome: A word, phrase, verse, or sentence that reads the same backward or forward. For example: Barack Obama — Hey, Obama! I am a boy, eh?
Karin, rule #1: never muck alone.
rule #2: drink lots of liquids.
rule#3: listen to me.