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- The Skid-Steer
Awesome. My neighborhood recently has been one giant experiment in first amendment rights. By the way, did you know that only 9% of all Americans can name the five rights granted to them by the first amendment? (Which makes me wonder how many of them can list all of the Bill of Rights?)
I’m sure you know your first amendment so the following is just me conducting a little memory experiment of my own:
-freedom of speech
-freedom of religion
-freedom of press
-freedom of petition
-freedom of assembly.
(This is really not that fair though as I used to teach a government class.)
A little while back we got a new neighbor, let’s call him Tad. Tad is a hoot and a half. He puts the hootie in the hoo so to speak. Tad came to the President’s Day Party dressed (authentically) as George Washington, and during the course of the evening his (cotton) wig disentegrated. Tad took it upon himself hide bits and pieces of it all around my house. (I am still finding random bits of cotton in the back of cabinets here and there.)
Tad is a welcome addition to the block. He plows my driveway and invites us over for beer. I do not know if everyone would agree with me. You see Tad, likes to exercise his first amendment rights…he has (from time to time) hung a Miller Beer light-up sign in his front picture- window and since last Friday it’s the sign.
(If I was tech savvy…I would insert here the song from 1970 by the Five Man Electrical Band: “Sign, sign…everywhere there’s signs…….can’t you read the sign?” I’ll try to link it at the bottom of this page.)
The sign was stationed prominently in front of Tad’s house in the yard. It was more of a banner really. A large, yellow plastic banner…professionally made and printed in large black letters that read: “Tractor for sale! John Deere Sucks! This is CAT country!”
Awesome.
This very well-made sign. I mean, I’ve seen banners like that next to businesses…most people selling stuff use posterboard, cardboard, a piece of old board…whatever’s handy in the garage that can be written on. Parked next to this very well-made sign was a little, green John Deere riding lawn mower. Parked on the other side was a very LARGE, yellow Catepillar Skid-Steer tractor with the scoop in front. (My three-year old nephew would go bananas to see it in front of Tad’s house.)
All that weekend there was a fairly steady stream of drive-by gawkers. Did I mention that I live in a very remote neighborhood that almost never gets any traffic?
I guess some of the block parents must of been upset. We have quite a few families with young children on the street. The scuttlebut is that a few of the husbands went over and asked Tad’s wife to take down the sign due to the “offensive wording”. You see, “sucks” is a word that we must protect minors from even though characters on Sponge Bob, the Disney channel, and the Simpsons use that word all the time.
I admit I laughed my tookus off. I have no children to worry about corrupting, and as they can’t read my dogs didn’t mind…heck Cheech probably thought it was a cool new thing to pee on. Yet, I am a waffler, a grey-area-thinker, a can’t-we-all-just-get-along-man compromiser…so I agree with both sides of the issue. The parents probably DO have a point.
By Saturday, the word “sucks” were covered by large stick-on letters “XJYZK”. By Monday, the sign was drooping quite heavily in the middle and was no longer readily readable from the street.
By the way Tad wants $850 for the Deere.
