Hola, como estas? and A WALK IN THE WOODS

I haven’t written much lately.  It’s not that there isn’t anything going on…because like all of you I live a rather run around life…I mean I got sneezed on by a senior in high school in study hall and was sick with a head cold for 5 weeks (the gift that keeps on giving…a snot shower!), had  two 5th graders get in a fight during a bathroom break on an ISS day (the little guy kicked the bigger bully in the nuts), and now that the school year is over (thank goodness) I am starting (tomorrow) a second round of grad school classes to get my teacher’s certification in special education.

For a while there though, I felt that my muse had left me and I was worried that my prose would be just a bunch of rambling non sequitors.  Then, I realized- hey,  my writing is rambling by nature so why worry?  Plus, I had a longish research paper to write about Asperger’s Syndrome so I was a little burnt out on the idea of typing anything. Speaking of non sequitors, did you realize that the Smokey Mountains National Park has one of the largest populations of black bears in the entire United States?

You see, Tom and I did it…we just finished semi-successfully navigating through IL, IN, KY, TN, NC, AL, and GA…(only got lost 3-ish times)!  And on our twisty turny moutainy side trips…we were able to see the lakes and dams of the Tennesse Valley Authority, stand behind a waterfall at the terminus of a trail in the Smokies, walk through a Civil War battlefield in Georgia (Chickamauga…by my count 36,000 soldiers died there in 2 days), shiver through a HUGE and DEEP cave in Alabama (spooky…they turned out the lights!), go hiking with our nieces (and yup get lost there too), and finally crash with our very  accomodating relatives when we were starting to get loopy from highway hypnosis.  We did a heckuva lot more than I have space to write here…but somehow,  I managed to stay awake for it all…wooo hooo no afternoon naps needed…that’s no mean feat for me lately!  (The secret:  a phlebotomy just before we left town!)

At one point we were trotting down a trail in the Smokies…and only a trifle annoyed that just about all of Tennessee seemed to be hiking with us… when we noticed a bottleneck of gapers peering in to the woods.  What we soon realized that all of gawking was due to a black bear sow and her cubs that had just lumbered on by.  In most accounts there is nothing so mean-ass, protective than a mama bear…therefore, standing around like the entrees in a buffet seemed like a plan that didn’t quite work for me.  My idea was to get back to the car…quickly!  However, this saddened me a little because even though I love the idea of hiking…when I actually am hiking I’m a little bit of a wuss.

You see, years ago I read Bill Bryson’s A Walk in the Woods.  And ever since I have been just a little obsessed by the idea of walking the entire Appalachian Trail.  Bryson is an author/humorist whose off color way of discussing every day events just tickle me to death. In one memorable scene he describes his supposed reaction to seeing a black bear on the AT as the moment when he dies of a sphincter explosion   (i.e. he shits himself to death).   The lesson here is that if I truly am going to try to undertake this endeavor some day I need to get over my phobias of ticks, spiders, extreme heights (since you’re hiking in the mountains), west nile virus, weird mountain men, sleeping outside, and bears!  After all if Bryson can do it… a self described out of shape, non-camping, suburban sort of guy…why can’t I?

PS:  If any of you think you are brave enough to face the AT with me and can take 6 months off to hike 2200 miles of mountainy trail let me know.  You can only join me though if you are a slower runner than me…I need someone to feed the bears!